Just hours ago, I felt so excited to go home. Mainly because I was planning to finally post a review after a long while. I didn’t know I will be writing and posting this letter instead.
Of course there’s no way you’ll ever gonna hear these words from me. But you left so sudden. There are so many words left unsaid and I just have to let these words out.
“I want to go home. I can’t wait to be with our puppy.”
“We treat her like a real baby.”
The moment I was speaking these words to my friends before I went home a few hours ago that might probably be the exact moment you took your last breath. Maybe that was a sign. I don’t know. How will I know?
23 days and you were gone.
Having you, a 2 month old Chihuahua in the house was a blessing. At first I was pretty hesitant when mom brought you home. I was so afraid that what happened 2 years ago with our puppy Kenzo will just happen again. And here we are, hearts broken again for your loss. Your previous owner gave you to his friend then he gave you to us after your sibling died. Such a young age you were already separated with your mother. Your veterinarian said you were stressed and having separation anxiety. And you weren’t getting enough calcium because of the milk you weren’t getting from your mother anymore. But we did our best to keep you happy, healthy and comfortable in our home.
We don’t know what really happened. Maybe it’s because of this, maybe it’s not. You even went to visit your veterinarian yesterday. I don’t know why this has to happen to you, baby. You always made my day. You’re one of the reasons why I was always excited to go home. I thought we’ll see you grow up. I thought we’ll stay like this for a long time. I really wish we still will.
I’m writing a letter for you, but in real life I am literally speechless. I don’t want to speak. I can’t speak. I’m afraid I might just choke up. I can’t even stand being inside our room. Every corner reminds me of you.
I always see you in every corner of our house. I’ll miss your smell. I’ll miss the sound your feet whenever your walking on the linoleum on the floor. I’ll miss your head on my legs when you’re seating beside me. I’ll miss your head in my arms when I was carrying you. I’ll miss you licking my chin. I’ll miss playing with you. I’ll miss preparing food for you. I’ll miss you seating in front of me with your cutesy, irresistible puppy eyes. I’ll miss lying in bed with you. I’ll miss everything about you. I’ll miss being with you. I’ll miss you.
I hope you’ll meet Kenzo there. I hope you’ll play with him. Wherever you are, I’m sure you now have so many playmates there. I hope you’re happy. I also hope you’ll be able to reunite with your sibling there.
My cutest, my sweetest, those 23 days with you will forever be treasured. You will always be remembered. We love you. Rest in piece, baby.